4 Ways We Can Survive Times of Waiting

Weeks have turned into months and we are still in this mess. We assumed (hoped, prayed?) we would be back to “normal” now. The initial fear and anxiety has turned to weariness and a stress level that’s always just below our boiling point. Numbers continue to climb, but now, the stories of illness are closer to home. There’s a lot of fighting over who to believe and what is true. Many of us have mental and emotional health that is suffering. What do we do when we can’t see the end of the story and we feel like we’re wandering in the wilderness?

Exodus story My Spiritual Director said something profound to me in our very first session together. I was sharing my story & we were talking about life giving spiritual practices. She said, “We are all writing our own exodus story. What are the things that are manna for your soul?” Weeks and weeks later, I am still processing this one question.

Here is the truth: We are all wandering in the wilderness these days, and I’ve been thinking a lot about this question. What is the manna that is sustaining me? It sometimes differs by the day, and even by the hour. But there are a few things that continue to sustain me during this wilderness season. Maybe they will be helpful to you too. So here are my top 4 Manna practices for this season and all the seasons to come.

1. Give yourself grace. We’ve never done this before. Literally. We have never lived our lives in the middle of a pandemic. We’ve never had to make these decisions or know the right answer in a situation like this. So be kind to yourself.

   When you feel frustrated that you aren’t making the progress you want, remind yourself that this is all new.

   When you can’t find your normal energy or motivation, say to yourself, “I’ve never done this before.”

   And your kids? This is all new to them too.

   So take the nap, read for fun, go for a walk, savor an extra cup of coffee tomorrow morning. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend. Tell your inner critic to take a (long) break, and give yourself grace.

2. Simplify. We are so used to busy & complicated lives. Technology claims to make life easier, but we all know that isn’t true. Whether it’s in person or from home, we are juggling jobs and school and family life and “virtual” relationships. We want to add enriching activities for ourselves and our kids and to find time for all of the things. Bur how much of this makes our lives better? How many of these things are just one more thing to get done? Adding things in a time when stress is higher (see above) is a recipe for overwhelm and unmet goals. Instead, let’s find ways to simplify. Order in once a week. Let that home project slide for now. Fill your heart with simple joys. Watch a movie together. Take turns choosing which takeout to order from. Have a “clean out the fridge” dinner. Make your life easier in every way possible. Life is complicated enough without us adding to it.

3. Rest. This one is hard when, fo many of us, everyone is home - All The Time! Right?

   For too many years, I didn’t know how to ask for the rest I needed. I was burned out and my body was failing me from overextending myself so many times. One of the most important spiritual practices I learned after the death of my husband was taking a Sabbath. This is a life saving practice, y’all.

   For me and my family, we have Sabbath on Saturday. We don’t schedule things outside the house if we can help it. We plan to rest. By that I mean rest is literally in our schedule for Saturdays. My man cubs spend much of their day watching movies and playing games. I spend most of my day away from technology. I try not to waste my time scrolling social media (this one is challenging sometimes). most Saturdays I read, listen to podcasts or audiobooks, find a way to be creative, and enjoy silence.

   Now, I realize silence is a rare thing for those of you with tiny humans in the house (my humans aren’t so tiny anymore.) But where can you find those moments of stillness? Can you take a walk together as a family and notice the beauty of nature? Can you take an hour of quiet instead of picking up the toys while your kids nap? Can you take an extra long shower while someone else does toddler time?

   Fight for this time. It’s worth it. You are worth it. You can’t give out of an empty vessel.

4. Breathe. It sounds so simple. We do it all day long without even thinking about it. But when we take time to intentionally inhale and exhale, and pay attention to that process, it calms our heart rate, soothes our anxiety, and it helps ground us in the moment.

   Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Notice what it feels like to breathe in and breathe out.

   Where do you feel the breath most strongly? In the nostrils? In your belly rising and falling? As it passes through your throat? Focus on that place for a few breaths.

   Notice the tiny pause before the inhale begins and before the exhale begins. Take time to count a few breath cycles. What does it feel like to pay attention to your breathing?

   This is part of mindfulness and is available to you anytime. When things feel overwhelming, return to the breath. When you have a decision to make, pay attention to your breath before you start processing the choices. Your breath is a respite for you anywhere and at any time.

The big takeaway here is to be kind to yourself. You matter. Your health and well-being matters. Your family will benefit from you choosing to be your best self. It isn’t always easy, but it is always worth the extra effort.

I want to hear from you. What are you doing to care for yourself in this season? Name one place you will choose better care for yourself in the next week.

Rhythms

Musically, I am a harmony girl. I’ve been an alto all of my life, so I have always sung the harmony part. I love everything about it. The way 2 parts join together to create a richer, deeper sound makes my heart soar. When I hear a new song, if I can hear the chorus once, I will be singing harmony the next time around. My boys sometimes chuckle at me when they hear me harmonizing to a brand new song before it’s even over. They know it’s my thing.

Rhythms are another matter entirely. They don’t come naturally to me. I have to work at them.

It’s the same in daily life. I need a rhythm, a routine; but it doesn’t come naturally. I often feel as if I have been running through my days trying to force a routine that doesn’t fit. My inner critic has been loudly reminding me of what I haven’t been accomplishing.

Reality check though: I have autoimmune diseases and I have to choose how I spend my energy carefully. Sometimes I run out of energy before I run out of day. And…. oh yeah, we are also in the middle of a pandemic.

This week I came across a scripture that I have read and loved for my whole life. It is especially beautiful to me in Eugene Peterson’s The Message. When I read it this week, however, it hit me in a brand new way. Let me share it with you:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me — watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 The Message

Notice that phrase that I emphasized. “Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.” Now I don’t know about you, but sometimes I try to force myself to do what I have decided is the “right” way to connect with God - the “right” way to structure my days. After all, I have been a Christ follower since I was eight. Surely I know what the “right” way looks like. The problem is that I (my people pleasing, good girl self) have listened more to what evangelical culture says is the “right” way to be a follower than what my heart needs.

Thankfully the Spirit has been teaching me a new thing about rhythms recently. Both my Counselor and my Spiritual Director have been talking to me about the difference between practices that are life-giving and ones that are life draining. I often try to do too much of what I think is right and not enough of what brings me close to God and makes my heart soar.

Here’s a truth, y'all: There are so many ways to connect with God and spend time in God’s presence. But not every practice is right for me in every season. Just because we have been told that something is “how we spend time with God” doesn’t mean it is the only way.

For most of my life I have focused on a certain kind of Bible study and a certain type of prayer. I did it, but it didn’t always bring me closer to God or transform my life. In the last few years I have discovered new ways of connecting with God. The practices that have given me life have been things like creativity and meditation and prayer writing. Doing these things feel natural and hopeful. They help me understand who God is and who I am created to be. But I am still exploring.

During the summer, what sparked for me were the liturgies that have been used for ages by followers of Christ. I explored the Daily Office and Celtic prayer books in my morning and evening routines. They made me curious and reminded me that I am part of a bigger whole.

However, a few weeks ago, my soul was restless and overwhelmed. I felt Holy Spirit prompting me to dive deep into just one practice: prayer writing. So I’m focusing now on spending my writing time in God’s presence and listening well.

God is always doing a new thing. I think the biggest truth for me in this journey is that how I encounter God will change. I can try new things. I can let something go for a season. As I am transformed, I will find new ways to hear the Spirit’s voice.

It should never be drudgery and tedious.

Yes, there is a discipline to our walk with Christ. But look for the places that spark your curiosity and ignite your passion. Do what makes you feel fully yourself. After all, you are created on purpose - with a purpose. Growth and transformation will happen organically when your spiritual practices are life giving.

So I want to hear from you: What spiritual practice makes you come alive? What sparks your curiosity? What have you tried lately that brings you joy? Share your life giving practices in the comments. And maybe even share what doesn’t work for you too - it is just as important to know what is life- draining.