4 Ways We Can Survive Times of Waiting

Weeks have turned into months and we are still in this mess. We assumed (hoped, prayed?) we would be back to “normal” now. The initial fear and anxiety has turned to weariness and a stress level that’s always just below our boiling point. Numbers continue to climb, but now, the stories of illness are closer to home. There’s a lot of fighting over who to believe and what is true. Many of us have mental and emotional health that is suffering. What do we do when we can’t see the end of the story and we feel like we’re wandering in the wilderness?

Exodus story My Spiritual Director said something profound to me in our very first session together. I was sharing my story & we were talking about life giving spiritual practices. She said, “We are all writing our own exodus story. What are the things that are manna for your soul?” Weeks and weeks later, I am still processing this one question.

Here is the truth: We are all wandering in the wilderness these days, and I’ve been thinking a lot about this question. What is the manna that is sustaining me? It sometimes differs by the day, and even by the hour. But there are a few things that continue to sustain me during this wilderness season. Maybe they will be helpful to you too. So here are my top 4 Manna practices for this season and all the seasons to come.

1. Give yourself grace. We’ve never done this before. Literally. We have never lived our lives in the middle of a pandemic. We’ve never had to make these decisions or know the right answer in a situation like this. So be kind to yourself.

   When you feel frustrated that you aren’t making the progress you want, remind yourself that this is all new.

   When you can’t find your normal energy or motivation, say to yourself, “I’ve never done this before.”

   And your kids? This is all new to them too.

   So take the nap, read for fun, go for a walk, savor an extra cup of coffee tomorrow morning. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to your best friend. Tell your inner critic to take a (long) break, and give yourself grace.

2. Simplify. We are so used to busy & complicated lives. Technology claims to make life easier, but we all know that isn’t true. Whether it’s in person or from home, we are juggling jobs and school and family life and “virtual” relationships. We want to add enriching activities for ourselves and our kids and to find time for all of the things. Bur how much of this makes our lives better? How many of these things are just one more thing to get done? Adding things in a time when stress is higher (see above) is a recipe for overwhelm and unmet goals. Instead, let’s find ways to simplify. Order in once a week. Let that home project slide for now. Fill your heart with simple joys. Watch a movie together. Take turns choosing which takeout to order from. Have a “clean out the fridge” dinner. Make your life easier in every way possible. Life is complicated enough without us adding to it.

3. Rest. This one is hard when, fo many of us, everyone is home - All The Time! Right?

   For too many years, I didn’t know how to ask for the rest I needed. I was burned out and my body was failing me from overextending myself so many times. One of the most important spiritual practices I learned after the death of my husband was taking a Sabbath. This is a life saving practice, y’all.

   For me and my family, we have Sabbath on Saturday. We don’t schedule things outside the house if we can help it. We plan to rest. By that I mean rest is literally in our schedule for Saturdays. My man cubs spend much of their day watching movies and playing games. I spend most of my day away from technology. I try not to waste my time scrolling social media (this one is challenging sometimes). most Saturdays I read, listen to podcasts or audiobooks, find a way to be creative, and enjoy silence.

   Now, I realize silence is a rare thing for those of you with tiny humans in the house (my humans aren’t so tiny anymore.) But where can you find those moments of stillness? Can you take a walk together as a family and notice the beauty of nature? Can you take an hour of quiet instead of picking up the toys while your kids nap? Can you take an extra long shower while someone else does toddler time?

   Fight for this time. It’s worth it. You are worth it. You can’t give out of an empty vessel.

4. Breathe. It sounds so simple. We do it all day long without even thinking about it. But when we take time to intentionally inhale and exhale, and pay attention to that process, it calms our heart rate, soothes our anxiety, and it helps ground us in the moment.

   Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Notice what it feels like to breathe in and breathe out.

   Where do you feel the breath most strongly? In the nostrils? In your belly rising and falling? As it passes through your throat? Focus on that place for a few breaths.

   Notice the tiny pause before the inhale begins and before the exhale begins. Take time to count a few breath cycles. What does it feel like to pay attention to your breathing?

   This is part of mindfulness and is available to you anytime. When things feel overwhelming, return to the breath. When you have a decision to make, pay attention to your breath before you start processing the choices. Your breath is a respite for you anywhere and at any time.

The big takeaway here is to be kind to yourself. You matter. Your health and well-being matters. Your family will benefit from you choosing to be your best self. It isn’t always easy, but it is always worth the extra effort.

I want to hear from you. What are you doing to care for yourself in this season? Name one place you will choose better care for yourself in the next week.

Welcome and Intro and Purpose, oh my!

I can hardly believe I’m here and we are doing this. Creating a space together is something I’ve dreamed of a long time. I am so glad you are here. Your voice matters in this space too. I believe we will learn and process and see beautiful things together. So let me introduce myself first.

Hi, I’m Renae Rickles Perry. I am a Christ follower and a deep thinker. I am an avid reader and lifelong learner. I am learning to trust and use my voice. I am a hardcore nerd and I love talking about geeky things! {Who is your favorite doctor in Doctor Who? What Hogwarts house are you in? Lynda Carter or Gal Gadot - or both?} I love to travel and create and have adventures. I am a widowed mom with 2 kids. My boys are 20 & 14 at this moment, and they are the most amazing, funny, quirky and brave humans I know. I love them so.

So, 3 and 1/2 years ago, our world was rocked when my husband died suddenly. A few days in, I remember feeling like my world had exploded and was scattered into tiny pieces all around me. I prayed in that moment “God, please make something beautiful out of the broken pieces. Redeem this devastating experience.” I very clearly felt the Holy Spirit giving me the image of a mosaic. It was a beautiful, hopeful image and I held on tight to it as a promise.

A lot has happened since that day, but I still hold on to that image. I believe God does beautiful things in painful hard situations.
I have seen God move and I have experienced the presence of the Holy Spirit. I have felt covered by grace through it all - through my whole life, really. I have learned, and I am still learning, to look for the grace every day.
Merriam Webster dictionary defines grace as “unmerited divine assistance given to humans for their regeneration or sanctification” and “a special favor: Privilege” and also a “disposition to or an act or instance of kindness.” And their kid’s definition is to HONOR and ADORN. Let’s unpack that definition a little. Grace is unmerited, which means it is undeserved. It is given for the purpose of our regeneration (rebirth) and sanctification (transformation.) It is a special favor or privilege.

Y’all, grace is a gift!

Grace is a disposition to or act of kindness. It is in God’s nature to gift us with kindness and compassion. It is who God is to Honor and Adorn us with goodness. So God, out of God’s own nature, gifts us with kindness and compassion, whether we feel we deserve it or not, in order to make us new and transform us. Wow. Take that in for a moment.

I want to notice the grace. I want to take special interest in naming the moments where I see God gifting me with compassion and kindness. These moments hold a purpose. They renew and transform us. They remind us to pay attention to who God is and the ways we are loved. And when we name and share them, we point other people to a God who deeply loves them and is already working in their lives whether they know it or not.

I see traces of God’s favor and honor throughout my life. I am following the path of God’s goodness and noticing the sparks of grace along the path. And I would love for you to join me.

My promise is that in this space, we will intentionally look for God. Let’s together see the traces of grace throughout our life. Let’s name them so we can be encouraged and so others can begin to see the grace on their journey too.

Let’s build a community of grace seekers here.
Introduce yourself in the comments. Share your first name and where you are from.
Where have you seen traces of grace in the last week?

“Grace.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/grace. Accessed 2 Jul. 2020.