Slow Down
I have mentioned it here before, but just in case you’ve missed it: my mind can be a chaotic and twisty place. I often have emotions I am processing and multiple thought threads running simultaneously, in addition to a few lyrics from the random song I can’t get out of my head. The jumble of words and emotions and music lyrics might just be part of the reason that my witty comebacks don’t reach my mouth until the conversation I am in has changed direction 3 times. It is also the reason that when I am planning something, my mind is analyzing multiple possibilities and has run at least 4 steps ahead of where I am now. Sometimes I really wish I could turn my brain down.
I am however, learning from one of my kids, although he doesn’t even realize it. This past week I took this particular kid out for a few hours to spend time together. We got into the car, and as we sat in the driveway, I asked, “so what do you want to do together today?” He answered, “well I don’t know.” Cue frustration because this outing had been on the schedule for more than a week, and I had told him to think about where he would like to go. I often foolishly believe that when I ask this kiddo to think about a decision ahead of time, he will actually do it.
You see, what I know and have always known about this human is that he does not plan in advance. I am sure some of this is due to the fact that his brain just works this way. But what I am just now learning is that he is completely in the moment. He is not worried about what just happened or what comes next. He simply lives right where he is.
This is something I have been trying to learn in meditation for a long time. I have been practicing mindfulness and techniques to ground myself. I want to quiet my busy mind and experience what is happening around me. But so often, my mind is buzzing and my thoughts are bouncing all over the place. As a result, this trait my child possesses has often been the cause for my frustration (read: great weeping and gnashing of teeth.) However, this time, instead of suggesting ideas or getting frustrated, I just stopped and waited for him to decide. He thought for a moment, and said, “let’s go to Trussville, Mom.”
So off we drove, and immediately, I started peppering him with questions about where he wanted to go in Trussville, because obviously, I am a slow learner. After getting no actual traction in the planning stages of our adventure, Spirit whispered to me, “just be present with him.” And so I practiced. I listened to him talk about video games, and we sang 80’s rock music, and he shared his favorite song from his favorite game with me. We were just together. We only went to Target and to grab a cocoa from Starbucks that day. It was nothing expensive or fancy. But I saw him with clear eyes, and I remembered how much I really like who he is. He is funny and quirky and kind. He is the child teaching me to be present and enjoy what is in front of me rather than all of the things that fight for attention within me.
Maybe someone you love has this trait or a habit that equally drives you nuts. What if you looked at them with fresh eyes and chose to just be present with your person? What could you learn? I am sure I will get frustrated again by my child’s lack of planning ahead. It really does go against my nature. But I hope that I can remember this lesson and stay in the moment more often. I like who I am when I choose mindfulness and enjoy what is around me. I like what I see when I slow down and pay attention.