progress
When I was a kid, I wanted to be Wonder Woman. I adored Linda Carter. She was smart and beautiful and strong and a complete badass. Who wouldn’t want to be her? When she was incognito, she wore those big glasses and seemed mild mannered and kind of nerdy (that sexy kind of nerdy though). But as soon as she needed to be more than Diana Prince, all she had to do was take off those glasses and turn in circles with her arms out, and suddenly she was Wonder Woman. I can’t tell you how many times I spun in circles hoping…
Four years ago. when my husband died, I felt as dizzy as those days from my childhood when I would spin in circles wishing I could turn into someone else. His death was sudden and disorienting, and many days I did wish to be someone else. But instead of turning suddenly into someone else, I was just me: afraid and lost and grieving.
As I look at myself today, I don’t see that same fearful, lost girl. Most of the time, I can see a new person. It didn’t happen with just a spin, and it certainly wasn’t easy. But I have changed. I think I am still changing.
I shared last week that this year has not been easy for me. I am in a season of health challenges and decisions and overwhelming days. It is easy to get discouraged.
My counselor has spent these 4+ years teaching me to give myself credit for how far I've come though. Because it is too easy to focus on the difficulties right in front of me, and because I often discount my own victories, I am going to spend some time here naming my progress and sharing the things I have learned. Maybe it will encourage you to do some soul searching and see how far you’ve come too.
My faith and my view of spirituality were too small.
God is so much bigger, so much more compassionate, and so much more present than I believed.
I am braver and more resilient than I thought I was.
I don’t need anyone to rescue me - or take care of me.
Things don’t always look the same behind closed doors as they do on social media.
I can trust that nudging voice that says things are not ok.
My voice matters.
The calling on my life is deeper and more layered than I believed it could be.
Strength is not the same as perfection.
Not everyone can handle my grief or my growth, and that is ok. My family and a few friends have never left my side.
I get to ask for what I need.
Healthy boundaries have saved my life.
What has walking through this life taught you? Where have you surprised yourself? Where do you need to name a victory?
I want to share my favorite Brene Brown quote in closing:
I now see how owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.
Go own your story and love yourself through it. And don’t forget to give yourself progress for your growth and the lessons you have learned.