Change

Change, y’all. It is so very hard. And to be honest, I’ve had a pretty complicated relationship with it in my adult life. There have been times that I prayed for it desperately - that this time would be different from all the others. I have hidden from change too though - certain that I was not capable or ready for the season ahead. In both extremes and everything in between, the change was still hard.

Everyone I know is in a season of change right now. We are all re-entering a life that can’t and won’t be the same as it was before Covid changed us all. Spring is also moving season in the United Methodist Church. That means pastors and churches throughout our conference are going though change. For my church, both of our pastors are being moved to new appointments. Two clergy moves in the same year is really rare for one church, but here we are. We will say goodbye to 2 very loved people and their families in June, and we will welcome 2 new people with new families in July. Each of them are starting over, and each of the churches are too. That is a LOT of change and uncertainty! I feel like I am in a season of change personally too. I am in the process of deciphering God’s call on my life. My boys and I are in some personal transitions. And we are feeling the tension of moving into the unknown.

Reactions to change can range from excitement to grief to curiosity to sheer terror - sometimes in the same person and sometimes all within a 5 minute period!

When I am in the middle of change, I think what I want most is something steady. Something that reminds me that I will be okay. So how can I find that steadiness when change is taking over my life?

One thing that helps me stay grounded is being consistent with my routines - those things that I do every day with intention. I practice centering prayer first thing every morning. I end every night in meditation. I savor those few minutes of stillness and coffee when the house is still and quiet in the morning. These rituals connect where I am now to where I am going.

Another important thing I do is to be honest about what I am feeling. So often we put labels on our emotions and feel guilt or shame around the ones we deem negative.

“I shouldn’t feel grief about leaving my old life behind because I’m excited by my new job.”

“It is wrong to be afraid or anxious because it means I’m not trusting God.”

No, y’all! I have heard, felt, and been preached at with these statements. They are lies. It is okay to feel all the things. God gave us our emotions and we WILL experience the full range in this life. This is normal, and there is nothing wrong with feeling what is there. We don’t have to be afraid that we will stay stuck in them either. I promise, they will pass. Everything does. They are emotions, but they are not the boss of me. But I give myself time and compassion to feel what is there. And then I take the next step. I do the next right thing.

The most important way I cope with change is to remind myself of the steadiness of the God who loves me. My favorite phrase in the entire Bible is this: God’s steadfast love endures forever. It appears in numerous places throughout the Old Testament, but let me tell you about my favorite. Psalm 136 is a kind of call and response, a possible liturgical reading in Israel’s worship. The psalmist lists God’s movement beginning at creation and continuing to the time it was written. After each mighty work, the refrain is God’s steadfast love endures forever. Over and over, as the people repeated this psalm in worship, they were reminded that in every aspect and movement of their story, God’s steadfast love held them, pursued them, and sustained them. That is the steadiness I am looking for - the steadiness I so desperately need in times of change. God has been here, is here, and will always be here. I go through this process for myself - I list the places where I have seen God’s movement (or just survived a difficult season!) and I call out after every instance, “God’s steadfast love endures forever.” I need this reminder, whether I am in a season of calm or a season of chaos. Maybe you do too.

Take a moment now and remind yourself of God’s steadfast love - read Psalm 136: 1-9, the first part of this Psalm of praise and remembrance that God’s love is faithful and lasts forever.

1 O give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,

for his steadfast love endures forever.

2 O give thanks to the God of gods,

for his steadfast love endures forever.

3 O give thanks to the Lord of lords,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

4 who alone does great wonders,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

5 who by understanding made the heavens,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

6 who spread out the earth on the waters,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

7 who made the great lights,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

8 the sun to rule over the day,

for his steadfast love endures forever;

9 the moon and stars to rule over the night,

for his steadfast love endures forever;